Descent

Experiment Proposal
Subject ID: 50197
Research Conductor: Dr. ████
March 15, 2019

Purpose: To observe the effects of solitary confinement on the human psyche.

Procedure: Subject is to be held alone for ten (10) years in a windowless, temperate, well-lit, ventilated room 550m x 550m in size, with an 8m high ceiling. Scientific observation is to be made through two (2) dome CCTV cameras hidden on opposite corners of the ceiling, as well as through four (4) wireless microphones built into various furniture (Technical Specifications for the cameras and the microphones are in appendix A-50197-1-1 and A-50197-1-2). Subject is provided:

• *One (1) Desktop computer WITHOUT Internet access or a clock, bolted to a desk, to be used exclusively as a diary for the subject (Technical Specifications are in appendix A-50197-2). Comes with a wired mouse, a monitor, and a wired keyboard.
• One (1) White wooden work desk, bolted to the ground.
• One (1) White folding chair.
• One (1) White mattress.
• *One (1) White pillow.
• Food and drinkable water, to be dispensed via an automated slot in the wall three (3) times daily (See appendix A-50197-3-1 for more thorough detail on the mechanism). Food was specifically selected to simulate the subject's regular diet.
• One (1) Working toilet.
• Toilet paper, two-ply, to be replenished via a button-operated mechanism in the wall of similar design to the food dispenser.
• One (1) Working sink.
• *One (1) Working shower.
• Various hygienic products, including a toothbrush, toothpaste, a nail clipper, soap, and shampoo. Consumables replenished via observer-operated slots in the wall (See appendix A-50197-3-2 for full description).
• Clothes, to be dispensed via a weight-operated machine built into the wall of similar design to the toilet paper disposer (See appendix A-50197-3-3).
• One (1) Trash chute, button-activated.
• One (1) Television, with access only to On-Demand movies. Internal clock is disabled.
• One (1) Small white wooden table, bolted to the ground.
• *One (1) White couch.
• One (1) Item of the subject's request (must meet overseer approval).

(Note: Asterisks denote furniture with hidden microphones)

Subject Description: Subject is an American male, aged ██. Subject is 1.75m tall and 64kg in weight. Subject is in excellent physical condition, with a body fat percentage of 7%. 50197 has short brown hair and brown eyes. Subject is of average intelligence.

Subject, upon hearing the 10 million dollar compensation for the experiment, was the first (and only one) to volunteer in selection group O3-627-M. Prior to experimentation, subject requested an Xbox 360 and several games. Request granted, but online multiplayer access and internal clock both have been disabled.

Experimentation approved by Dr. ███████. Testing scheduled to begin on March 21, 2019.




(Conductor's Note: Text in boldface isn't typed in the subject's diary, they are timestamps from the computer. -Dr. ████.)

Subject's Diary 
March 21, 2019
Day 1

I've never kept a diary before, so I'm not too sure how I should approach this. I guess... hello? I don't know.

Anyway, the scientist told me I have to write in this every once in awhile (it was so vague), so here I am. I'll start with some backstory.

My name's ██████. I work at ███████████. I live in ███ █████, ██. I volunteered for this experiment for the same reason that anyone else would volunteer for it. The money. 10 million dollars, without tax, that's A LOT. How could you not?

So right before the actual experiment started, they stripped me down and x-rayed me to make sure I wasn't smuggling anything in. Then, they give me plain white pants and a plain white shirt to wear, which are pretty comfortable. I'll have to remind myself to ask for a set of them when I leave here in ten years.

Then, a scientist and I walked into the actual room that I'd be staying in for the next decade of my life. Let me tell you, it's HUGE. It was like a big, white ballroom, with the ceiling high, high over my head. Everything was white, the walls, the ceiling, the couch, the floor. Everything.

Apart from white, there wasn't a lot in this room, just basic stuff. A bed (or technically, a mattress on the ground) with a pillow, a couch, a TV on the wall, a computer, whatever. What made me laugh was that there wasn't a bath "room," only a toilet, a sink, and a shower clustered in one corner. It was weird just seeing them out in the open like that.

So we walked around the entire room. The scientist showed me how I would get my food through a particular hole in the wall, how I could get more toilet paper just by pushing a button on the wall, and how I could get rid of my laundry. The system they had for the laundry was what impressed me the most. I had to put all my clothes in one hole in the wall and if it was around a specific weight, the clothes would fall down a chute and a fresh set of clothes would be "dispensed" from another chute. It was neat.

And now, the scientist left, and I'm just sitting in front of this computer, typing away. About to play some Xbox to kill time. And boy, am I gonna have a lot of time to kill.




Experiment Log 1
Subject ID: 50197
Overseer: Dr. ███████
Research Conductor: Dr. ████
March 21, 2019

Observations: Subject spent much of the first day either pacing the room, or playing with his Xbox. No anomalous events.

End of log.




Subject's Diary
March 22, 2019
Day 2

Hi again. God, every time I write here, it feels awkward. It's like I'm schizophrenic, talking to nobody. I don't like it.

More notes, notes, notes. The food's pretty good, no complaints. They probably knew what sort of stuff I liked to eat through that pre-experiment survey I had to fill out.

Hmm... now I'm curious. What other things did that survey have on there? Employer information, health, family relationships... rrgh, I wish I could remember everything, but it was a few weeks ago.

Uh... more things, more things... Started playing Skyrim. My friend gave me a copy of the game in an attempt to get me interested in RPGs. I wasn't too eager to play it, but I brought it anyway just because I know it's a long, long game. I have 10 years to kill, after all.




Experiment Log 2
Subject ID: 50197
Overseer: Dr. ███████
Research Conductor: Dr. ████
March 22, 2019

Observations: Subject no longer paced the room. Subject played with his Xbox for the majority of the day. Subject expressed amusement at the food dispenser. No anomalous events.

End of log.




Subject's Diary
April 9, 2019
Day 20

Already done with about half of the games I brought. I might have to think about rationing the leftover games I have. Then again, I have a gigantic library of On-Demand movies at my disposal that the research facility so nicely provided.

Life is good so far. The only complaints I have are the damn ceiling lights. They're so bright, it makes it hard for me to sleep. I think it's ruining my sleep schedule, because I always seem to think it's daytime.

Hmm... now that I think about it... I have no sense of time here. They took my watch before the experiment. There isn't a clock on the wall, or on the TV. I could have one on my Xbox, I never noticed if it was there or not though.

How many days have I been here? Ever since I got here, I've slept and woken up whenever I wanted, and I've eaten at whatever time the food's been dispensed. God, this is bad. I could've been here for three days, I could've been here for three weeks. I don't know.

Let's figure this out... I can't count the number of showers I've taken, so I must have been here longer than a week, maybe around two weeks? I've only gone through two, so it must not have been that long. But how long do they usually last at my house? I wish I had counted how many days each toilet paper roll lasted.

But for counting's sake, I'll call today day 14. I'll add a day every time I feel really sleepy, but the fact is that my sleep schedule's far from a perfect timekeeper. I need a consistent way of keeping time somehow.

Hmm... how about the food dispenser? Now that I think about it, it does give me cereal every once in awhile. But it's been weird sometimes. Once, it gave me cereal when I was feeling really tired. Could that have been when I was supposed to get up?

I don't even know anymore. Today's day 14. I'll count one day every time it gives me cereal.




Experiment Log 20
Subject ID: 50197
Overseer: Dr. ███████
Research Conductor: Dr. ████
April 9, 2019

Observations: Subject has started talking to himself, especially in the shower. Subject was observed walking back and forth between opposite corners of the room (from the bathroom corner to the computer) five times, each time saying "How long was it?" (See Audio Log 50197-20-3 for reference), evidence of slight psychological breakdown from time unawareness. Subject's mental degradation is as predicted. No anomalous events.

End of log.




Subject's Diary
June 17, 2019
Day 89

One more cereal. That makes today day 60. The cereal was bland. I wish they'd give me different cereal.

Finished the thousandth movie today. I've been counting. Exactly a thousand. Remember, I ran out of games three cereals ago, so just movies from now on. Alice in Wonderland. Tim Burton's my favorite.

Ran out of toilet paper a few minutes ago, so I hit the button and the wall gave me more. I like the wall. Sometimes, I imagine that the wall is my best friend. He might be my best friend. He gives me everything I need. Food. Clothes. Toilet paper. But what do I do for the wall? It loves me, it feeds me like a mother and I repay it not. I should ask what it wants.

Oh god, what's happening to me. I think I'm going crazy. I'm not talking sane. I don't like the wall. It's not even alive. Why would I like it? What I'd do to see the sun right now. My skin's not any paler than usual, probably from the lights. From the ceiling.

Ugh. But the ceiling's still bright. I wish I could turn it off, but I can't, and when I sleep, the lights blind me and scream at me and watch me and force me awake. Force me awake until another cereal comes and I watch another movie. Force me awake.




Experiment Log 89
Subject ID: 50197
Overseer: Dr. ███████
Research Conductor: Dr. ████
June 17, 2019

Observations: Subject was observed to be stroking the toilet paper dispenser for three (3) hours and fourteen (14) minutes while repeatedly saying "I'm sorry, so sorry" or variations thereof to the wall (See Audio Log 50197-89-12). Subject has continued to talk to himself as if he were another person, potential evidence of the subject suffering from multiple identity disorder. Occasionally, subject has lapses of sanity, but soon after, subject begins reassuring himself that he "isn't going crazy" and continues talking to himself.

Subject spends most of his time on the couch, watching movies. Subject displayed visible signs of stress upon being given cereal by the automated food dispenser.

End of log.





Subject's Diary
November 29, 2020
Day 346

Another cereal. God damn it I hate cereal. So much.

242 days. Almost a year. I'm ██ years old now. By the time I get out of here, I'll be ██ years old. So far away.

I don't like the wall. It keeps giving me cereal. I hate cereal. I don't eat cereal anymore. The toilet eats it for me. It likes the cereal. It told me it does so I give it my cereal and it takes it and eats it. I think the toilet is my new best friend. The wall doesn't like me.

Someone's been in my room. He's been writing on my things. He writes when I'm not looking. I found the words "███████ Industries" on my pants. And on my toothbrush. And on my pillow. I don't know who it is. But I know he hates me. He writes messages on my things so I get scared because I don't know what the words mean. But it won't work. I don't care what the words mean.

The ceiling. The ceiling. It's so bright. I hide under pillows, but it won't go away, it just won't. I can't sleep. It watches over me. It won't stop. I have to make it stop.




Experiment Log 346
Subject ID: 50197
Overseer: Dr. ███████
Research Conductor: Dr. ████
November 29, 2020

Observations: Subject still refuses to eat cereal, instead opting to empty it into the toilet. Subject has been observed sitting and staring at the toilet for extended periods of time, most notably between 1200 and 1800, where subject was observed to have [REDACTED] (See Visual Logs 50197-346-12 through 50197-346-18).

Subject has continued to demonstrate a phobia for the ceiling. Subject is unable to sleep for continuous periods of time, frequently suffering from hypnic jerks. Subject has been observed to fall into periods of microsleep, but based on collected diary entries, subject seems unaware of his microsleep periods, instead believing that he is unable to sleep at all.

End of log.





Subject's Diary
August 17, 2021
Day 881

616 cereals. Two years. I stopped caring about my age. It's not important. What benefit would being ██ have in here? I could be 10 I could be 100 it doesn't matter here. I'm still stuck in this hole.

This is torture. I don't want to stay here any more. I just want to leave. I want to leave but I can't find the door anywhere. I don't remember where I came in, everything is just white. White white white like I'm in an endless white void that won't let me out even though I bang and plead on the walls until my fists bleed and my throat hurts and I scream let me out let me out JUST LET ME OUT.

███████ Industries. It's everywhere. On the bottom of tables next to barcodes on my clothes on the TV IT'S EVERYWHERE. The words burned into my mind and I see them even when I close my eyes. WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MEAN.

The sun. So bright. It hurts to look at the sun but maybe if I look long enough it'll fizzle out and die but it won't die it keeps living and glowing and waking me up and slowly I end up the one closer and closer to dying.





Experiment Log 881
Subject ID: 50197
Overseer: Dr. ███████
Research Conductor: Dr. ████
August 17, 2021

Observations: Subject continues to neglect personal hygiene. Last recorded shower was July 9, 2021. Several spots of urine and fecal matter scattered around the room have been noted. Subject has slowly weakened its relationship with the toilet.

Subject continues to deprive itself of food. Initially depriving itself only of food, subject has now gone a total of four days without nutrition. As such, a pile of spilled food has slowly begun to accumulate in front of the food dispenser.

At 0800, subject was observed to be pounding on the walls, demanding to be let out. Shortly after, subject collapsed onto his knees and began crying. Subject continued crying for three hours (See Visual Logs 50197-881-8 through 50197-881-12).

Subject appears to spend most of its time lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. Possible evidence of hallucinations, though it is uncertain.

End of log.





Subject's Diary
December 6, 2022
Day 1357




i cant take it. i want to go home. this is not life. white cage. ███████ industries. i am a pawn. there is a greater plan. but i am insignificant. they dont need me. i am unimportant.

the walls. the ceiling. they tell me that i am worthless. i am nothing. and theyre right. i am nothing. this room is nothing. i do not exist. i died a long time ago. and i am in limbo. i am in nothingness. i am not real.

but i will become real.





Experiment Log 1357
Subject ID: 50197
Overseer: Dr. ███████
Research Conductor: Dr. ████
December 6, 2022

Observations: From 0100 to 0400, subject typed out its diary entry. Upon completion, subject stood up and repeatedly bashed its skull against the corner of the computer for two minutes. At the thirty second mark, subject's skin was cut and blood began to appear. Upon the one minute thirty second mark, the subject slowed down. At the two minute mark, subject collapsed on the ground, where it lay motionless for ten more hours before the experiment was terminated by Dr. ███████ 

End of log.




Experiment Conclusions
Subject ID: 50197
Overseer: Dr. ███████
Research Conductor: Dr. ████
December 10, 2022.

On December 7, 2022, at 0600, scientists entered testing chamber 682-A, where Subject 50197 had been held for 1357 days before committing suicide. Prior to its death, subject had managed to survive with minimal nourishment, going at most a full 29 days without food. How the subject managed to survive with such little nutrition is unknown.

Upon entry, scientists noted the large pile of spilled food from the food dispenser as well as the large amounts of feces and urine on the ground. The words "███████ Industries" and "Can't sleep" have been carved in several places, including the walls, the floor, the TV screen, the computer monitor, and even in the subject's skin, notably its arms, legs, and neck. Tool used to create the words seem be a nail clipper, except for the words on the subject's skin, which appear to be scratched on by the subject's own nails.

Autopsy results show that the subject [REDACTED]


[REDACTED]

In conclusion, subject managed to live shorter than previous subjects, albeit by only a margin of two or three months. Regardless, the length of time survived is notable, potentially showing a link between physical fitness and mental instability when faced with long periods of solitary confinement. Subject's short survival time despite its great physical condition seems to be evidence against the widely accepted theory that physical condition and mental stability are linked.

However, more research is recommended.

-Dr. ████





Author's Note: This story's a tribute to the endless number of SCP's and SCP stories that I've been obsessed with for a long, long time, evidenced through the censorship and coldly scientific descriptions through the experiment logs. What's SCP, you ask? See for yourself. You'll be glad you did.

This one's a bit more... strange compared to my other stories, notably how it's in an epistolary format, meaning it's in the form of letters, diary entries, and documents, not straight-up narration. Not only is it more like the SCP format, but I feel that the diary also makes the subject's slow and gradual descent into madness more evident. Plus, the date saves me from having to write "Days, months, years" over and over and over again (if you hadn't noticed, I like using asyndeta for time).

Nevertheless, this was pretty hard to write, especially the subject diary entries. It's hard to imagine what a guy would act like when he's been trapped a year, two years, three years by himself in a giant white room, so it's even harder to write it and make you guys imagine it. I wish I could have fleshed it out a lot more, but I was scared that it might be way too long of a story if I did, so I left it as this. Hopefully I did a decent enough job with this story and it seemed at least a little believable. 

My god, you wouldn't BELIEVE the amount of research I had to put into this. Less on how a person would react if he were by himself for a long time, more on tiny details in the experiment logs. Stuff like how long the average toilet paper roll lasts, the correct name for a "spy microphone," etc. A LOT of research on time perception, though, so much, that I had to make my own term because I couldn't find it used anywhere else. So if you start seeing the phrase "time unawareness" thrown around, know that it came here first.

As always, comments are greatly appreciated, either on Facebook if you want credit, or here if you want to anonymously flame me. Either one's fine, but I'd prefer it to be constructive flaming, if you pick the latter.