You and your best friend, Sam, are at your house on a calm summer Wednesday in suburban San Diego. You casually browse the Internet for interesting things to do locally, but have yet to find anything. Sam lies face up on your bed, casually tossing a ball up and down.
You hear the gentle ding of a phone chime. It's Sam's. Sam picks it up and checks the text that just arrived.
"Hey!" Sam exclaims, "There's a haunted school tour going on later tonight! Doesn't that sound awesome?"
"Eh... I don't know, haunted things are always filled with cheap scares and people with masks."
"Nah, but this one's different! It's a genuine haunted location, with murders and screams and a gigantic maze-like school from the 17th century!"
You seriously doubt that there's a school from the 17th century in San Diego. But Sam does look incredibly excited and there is nothing else to do today. So... you make your choice.
Click here if you decide to go because it sounds exciting.
Click here if you decide to go to avoid disappointing Sam.
Click here to stay home and not go.
You turn back.
"WHAT?!" Sam screams.
"SHUT UP! I GOT THIS!" You retaliate. But do you really? Even you're beginning to doubt yourself at this point. You're sweating heavily. What if your theory is wrong?
Another intersection. Another decision to make. Do you...
Turn left?
Go straight?
Turn right?
Go back?
"Alright, let's go," you say unenthusiastically. Sam cheers!
You arrive in the school. Its rusted gates make a deafening screeching noise as you enter the front gates and into the actual school. You walk down its halls, where blue paint flake off the walls like scabs on dried skin. The concrete fragments grind beneath your feet and echo like screams hitting the centuries old wall.
"Hello?" Sam shouts and the walls shout the same greeting back at you.
"Creepy," you says as you turn the corner. You continue roaming the school when suddenly, you feel a cold chill on your neck. You turn around.
"Boo!" You and Sam jump back as a huge blur of a figure pops out! You let out a yelp as the man in front of you explodes into laughter. The crowd of teenagers behind him don't seem to be too amused. Partly because the man laughed like a hyena with asthma. The large man took a puff of his inhaler and started.
"Oh, classic," he said as he wiped a tear from his eye. "I'm Fred. Welcome to Spooky School!" Fred talked as if he were babysitting toddlers on Halloween. He lengthened the o's in spooky, as if he were talking like a ghost. "Follow me, the tour's just about to start!"
You and Sam look at each other, then follow Fred and the crowd. Both you and Sam look as if this was a bad choice.
After the second hour of Fred's god-awful droning, Sam becomes impatient and starts suggesting that you both leave the group and explore on your own. You, insistent on being a good, law-abiding citizen courteous to all, refuse and stay with the group.
So Sam leaves on his own. Shoot! Do you...
Go after him?
Stick with the crowd?
You turn left.
An hour of walking passes and no distinguishing landmarks appear. No new paint scrapes, no different floor designs, no intersections, nothing. Two more hours of this and you realize that you've gone the wrong way, much to Sam's annoyance. You turn back
You feel like eating something sweet today, so you draw a colossal bathtub filled with ice cream, which you clearly label so as to avoid the bathtub being filled with water or something you don't want to eat. As you complete it and dust your hands off, you realize you've made a huge mistake.
The bathtub is 50 feet in the air. It lands on your fragile bones and shatters them into a million pieces. You are beyond dead, you are dust. Chalk dust.
THE END.
You turn backwards.
"What the hell?" Sam yells, surprised, "We'll be making negative progress!"
"Trust me," you reply, "I play video games."
"What does that have to do anything?" You don't reply. Instead, you keep walking towards the intersections you've already crossed.
Once more, another four-way intersection. Do you...
Turn left?
Go straight?
Turn right?
Go back?
You stick with the crowd. As Fred's boring monologue fills the air, the thought of Sam in danger itches in the back of your mind. But you won't follow. You try to rationalize that it was Sam's choice to stray, but inevitably, you realize that Sam had always been a loose cannon and ultimately, your responsibility.
But you've already made your choice. You're sticking with the tour. All six hours of it. While Sam finds all sorts of horrible and dangerous things in the maze of school hallways.
As the tour ends, you feel sick to your stomach. You throw up, realizing that you are a horrible, horrible friend.
That or Fred's tour was so bad that it demanded a physical reaction as dramatic as vomiting. Your call.
THE END.
"AAAAGH!" Sam screams. "ENOUGH WALKING."
"CALM DOWN!" You yell back, "I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING."
"NO YOU DON'T!" Sam tackles you to the ground! Sam's hands wrap around your throat with a death grip that crushes your trachea. You struggle, trying to punch Sam in the face, but it's no use! Your mitochondria aren't used to performing anaerobically. You quickly lose consciousness. Forever.
THE END.
You grab hold of the TARDIS just as it vanishes!
"Oh no you don't, Sam, I'm coming with you!" The TARDIS speeds through the time vortex. You struggle to hold on to the chaotic spinning motion of the TARDIS!
Your fingers start to slip. The centrifugal force is too much for you! You release your grip and fly out of the time vortex! Your body is shredded apart by temporal shock. You become nothing but bits of stardust floating in space in the year 2523.
THE END.
You turn right. Sam is slightly relieved.
"At least we're going in a different direction now," Sam states.
Another hour of walking and you arrive at a dead end! Sam is just about ready to murder-slap you.
Just kidding. Another intersection. What do you do?
Turn left?
Go straight?
Turn right?
Go back?
You write your name in chalk. That's it. Sam calls you a boring person for doing that.
Since you failed to do anything interesting, you and Sam decide to exit the room and look around more. You walk for some distance in one of the school's many long, seemingly infinite hallways.
Soon, you come upon a four way intersection. Do you...
Turn left?
Go straight?
Go right?
You turn backwards. At this point, Sam is sobbing. As the two of you keep walking, Sam's emotional distress is increasingly evident. Occasional whimpers exit Sam's lips.
Another intersection. You're incredibly nervous now. Your idea is probably wrong, but too late to drop out now. There's only one left. Do or die.
Turn left?
Go straight?
Turn right?
Go back?
"Sam, wait!" You call out, but Sam doesn't hear you. You chase after him, but clumsily trip on a dent in the concrete ground. When you manage to stand back up, Sam is out of view. You decide to follow Sam's last location. Or at least, where you think Sam last was. These school hallways all look identical, which disorients you easily.
Soon, you hear a noise in the distance. It sounds far away, which makes it difficult to know what it is. But you can guess. And if you can guess, then you can react. Do you...
Go towards the metallic scraping noise you hear?
Go towards the bubble popping sounds you hear?
Ignore it and try to retrace your steps to escape alone?
Here you are, back at the original intersection you come upon. Do you...
Turn left?
Go straight?
Turn right?
You decide to put your artistic skills to the ultimate challenge. While Sam draws his crude drawing of a stick figure family, you create the chalkboard Mona Lisa. In anime form. The chalk squeaks in pain as you draw a massively detailed picture of Godzilla firing his atomic breath at a very angry Bubbles. No detail is overlooked by your genius. Every nanometer of the picture has life, from the pulsating veins of Godzilla, to Bubbles' massive eyes, to the Japanese woman screaming through a window as her skyscraper falls to the ground in Tokyo.
As the chalk whittles down into a smaller and smaller size, your picture only grows. Grows not only in size, but in sheer artistic perfection. You use every last ounce of the chalk. Even when it's barely a millimeter tall, you manage to stick it on the tip of your nail to insert just a little more detail on an already awe-inspiring picture. Finally, every last molecule of the chalk is on the board. Not an ounce was lost as chalk particulates in the air or even as heat. Your genius has officially defied the Second Law of Thermodynamics.
Sam looks in total awe. He wipes his nose with his chalk-covered hand.
And he sneezes. And all of your work is gone.
Oh well. You came here to draw, not to look around. The two of you exit the room (you more distraught than Sam) and you continue to explore.
"Did you hear that?" Sam asked you. "It... it almost sounds like... like a noise of some sort." Sam isn't too good at describing things, so you offer your suggestion.
Do you think the noise sounds like...
Metallic scraping noise?
Thousands of bubbles popping?
A high-pitched feminine squeal?
You turn right. And it's an immediate dead end.
"Damn it," you mutter under your breath. You turn back.
"F that! Fthatfthatfthatfthatfthat!" You scream as you hear the noise. You dash away, taking the route you took before.
But there's no exit. You might be a coward, but you don't have horrible spatial awareness. You know this was your exact path. So why are there only intersections?
Panicking, you decide to travel down the intersections. Without guidance, without reason, you roam. Helpless, without a clue, like an animal left in a cage, forgotten by its owner. And, just like an animal, you slowly die from hunger. The last thing you see are your sharp bones jutting out of your paper-thin skin before you die of malnutrition.
THE END.
You go straight again, making even more negative progress. Sam is just about ready to scream at you now, but you've ignored Sam in worse situations. Right now, Sam's insults about your mother are just whispers in the wind.
Another intersection. Do you...
Turn left?
Go straight?
Turn right?
Go back?
You approach the bubbling noises. After walking for some time, you see a black cauldron atop an open flame, filled with some strange green liquid. It smells repulsive and the heat is getting to you, so you decide to leave it alone for now and continue looking for Sam.
"Sam!" You cry out frequently. Your stomach rumbles. You've been walking around the school halls for a good three hours now. Not even the slightest trace of Sam around you. Desperate, you go back to the cauldron. You're starving.
Using nothing but your hands, you scoop up bowls of the hot liquid, which burns your hands. But you don't care. You're famished. You eat and eat and gorge yourself as the liquid burns more and more of your hands. Before you know it, your hands are charred black and red and your stomach engorged.
You feel nauseated. You lie down, but your dizziness won't go away. Desperate to rest, you press your head against the cauldron.
Your ear becomes seared on to the cauldron. You scream in pain and slowly die from a combination of shock and poisoning.
That cauldron food was expired. Should have come earlier!
THE END.
You go forward again. Sam insists that you stop going forward because these hallways seem to stretch to the horizon now.
"If you keep going in one direction, we'll never escape," Sam comments, exhausted. But the two of you keep trekking forward.
Eventually, you reach yet another four-way intersection. Do you...
Turn left?
Go straight?
Turn right?
Go back?
You walk toward the sound of metal being scraped against. As you approach the scraping, you realize that it isn't really a scraping noise, more like a "VWORP VWORP" sound.
The vworps are coming from behind a door. You open it and see... a blue box?
Yep, a blue box. It seems out of place to you, so you circle it a few times. You try to open the door, but it won't budge. Seeing as it isn't of any interest to you, you exit the room.
...Or, at least, you would have, if it weren't for the statue blocking the door. Strange. You swear that it wasn't there when you entered, you would have noticed something that big.
But, no time to think. You have to find Sam. You walk past it...
And suddenly, the school is filled with schoolchildren! The walls seem refurbished even though literally a second ago, they were in ruins. It's also daytime. You are amazed, but at the same time, you wonder what happened. Then, in a classroom, you see it.
A calendar dating "July 10, 1946."
THE END.
You turn back around. Sam's sadness turned to anger.
"STOP PACING!" Sam screams and tackles you to the ground. Sam's hands are gripped around your throat and you struggle to breathe! You reach your hand out in desperation, but you're losing oxygen fast!
Suddenly, a bright light fills the hallway, getting increasingly brighter and brighter until all you can see is whiteness! Sam releases his grip, just as curious as you to find out what's happening. But you know. Deep down, you know.
The whiteness disappears. So do the dark, infinite hallways of the school. Instead, surrounding you is a gorgeous palace made of white marble and gold trim. Every video game and video game console that has or ever will exist lines the walls of the temple along with movie screen-size flatscreens embedded into the walls. Above you, a majestic skylight lets in golden crisp sunlight into the room. In one corner, a table with infinite pizza sits steaming hot, ready for consumption.
Sam look at you in disbelief. You smile as you gasp for air.
"You... you knew?" Sam asked. You nod.
Suddenly, Sam is overcome by tears. Not of sadness, but of pure bliss.
This was heaven. You found heaven.
THE END.
"Nah, I'm fine," you respond.
"Fine. More for me." Sam dips his face in the cauldron, taking huge, Kirby-like gulps of the mysterious green sludge. To your horror, Sam doesn't seem to be in any pain. Based on the look of that boiling water, Sam's face should've melted off.
After ten full minutes of nonstop drinking, Sam emerges with a crazed look in the eye. Sam looks towards you.
"Sam..." you start, "What are you doing..."
Sam approaches you slowly. Twitching, like a mental patient.
"Saaaaaaaaaaaam...."
Suddenly, Sam lets out the loudest, most inhuman howl! Sam's become a teen wolf! You soil yourself, frozen in fear as Sam sprints to you and rips your head clean off using nothing but hand grip. The last thing you see is your own decapitated body falling to its knees as your head falls into the cauldron.
THE END.
You and Sam continue straight. Again, you are approached with a long, winding hallway until once more, you reach a four way intersection. Both intersections are featureless, so it's impossible to know whether or not you've made some progress or actually ended up in the same place. Do you...
Turn left?
Go straight?
Turn right?
Go back?
"You said time and space, right?" You ask Sam.
"Yep!"
"Time... and space?"
"Uh-huh."
"How about you just send us back home? I've had enough of tonight."
"Aww, still mad that I sneezed on your dumb chalk drawing?" You slap Sam across the face.
"It's NOT dumb, don't you ever say that again! Now take me home." Sam rubs the cheek you slapped and spins a wheel on the TARDIS. VWORP. VWORP.
Sam opens the door unenthusiastically. You step out into the cold night air, relieved that the night is over.
SLAM! You look behind you. Sam has slammed the door shut! You pound on the door, demanding that it be opened, but Sam won't listen to you!
VWORP. VWORP. It's about to leave! Do you...
Grab hold of the TARDIS?
Let it disappear?
"It sounds like a thousand bubbles popping. Like... water boiling," you suggest.
"Yeah, exactly! Let's see what it could be."
The two of you walk toward the direction of the bubbles. After traveling some distance down the dark, dark hallway, you discover a large black cauldron over an open flame. Inside it, green viscous liquid bubbles in a boil.
"Thirsty?" Sam jokes. Well? Are you?
Yes.
No.
"Ah, what the heck. Let's go. I feel like kicking a few ghosts in the face anyway," you say. Sam cheers in excitement.
You arrive in the school. Its rusted gates make a deafening screeching noise as you enter the front gates and into the actual school. You walk down its halls, where blue paint flake off the walls like scabs on dried skin. The concrete fragments grind beneath your feet and echo like screams hitting the centuries old wall.
"Hello?" You shout and the walls shout the same greeting back at you.
"Creepy," Sam says as you turn the corner. You continue roaming the school when suddenly, you feel a cold chill on your neck. You turn around.
"Boo!" You and Sam jump back as a huge blur of a figure pops out! Sam lets out a yelp as the man in front of you explodes into laughter. The crowd of teenagers behind him don't seem to be too amused. Partly because the man laughed like a hyena with asthma. The large man took a puff of his inhaler and started.
"Oh, classic," he said as he wiped a tear from his eye. "I'm Fred. Welcome to Spooky School!" Fred talked as if he were babysitting toddlers on Halloween. He lengthened the o's in spooky, as if he were talking like a ghost. "Follow me, the tour's just about to start!"
You and Sam look at each other, then follow Fred and the crowd. Both you and Sam look as if this was a bad choice.
Quickly, as the tour progresses and Fred's uninteresting fact-jokes about the school seep out of his mouth, you and Sam start to realize how bad of an idea this really was. Quickly, Fred's monotone dribble starts to get the best of your psyche.
Do you...
Decide to leave the tour behind to explore?
Decide to stick with the tour and tank it out?
"Eh, whatever," you tell yourself. You wave casually as the TARDIS vanishes. "Home sweet home anyway."
You look around. A quiet suburban neighborhood. Most of the houses are two stories tall, so you assume it's a richer district. But hang on.
You're poor. You don't live here. You sprint past the houses searching for a street sign, a map, anything.
You trip over something and fall on your face. Slightly hurt, you stand back up and look behind you. It's the newspaper. You pick it up and read it.
And you discover that the current year is 2341. And you're in the Mexican Empire.
THE END.
"Sounds like a metal scraping noise to me."
"There we go!" Sam exclaims, "It sounds exactly like that! What could it be?"
The two of you follow the sound, eventually stumbling upon... a blue box?
"WOAH!" Sam freaks out. "I KNOW WHAT THIS IS!"
"What is it?" Sam is visibly sweating from the excitement.
"IT'S A TARDIS! TIME AND RELATIVE DIMENSION IN SPACE!" You assume that a ghost has temporarily possessed your friend. A very scientific one.
Your friend snaps his fingers and the doors to the machine are thrown open! Giddily, Sam enters the TARDIS. You follow, confused.
Sam throws a few switches, then asks you.
"So... We can go anywhere in time and space. Where would you like to go?"
The past!
The present, but out of this school!
The future!
Let me at the controls!
"Hell yeah I am!" You drink from the cauldron. It tastes sweet, like green mango. Strangely, even though it was boiling, it's not hot at all. It's actually very cold. You rationalize that it's just a magical green mango smoothie and you pressure Sam to try some.
"Fine," Sam says and takes a few handfuls of drink from the cauldron. Both of you start experiencing a tingling sensation throughout your body.
"Whoa!" You exclaim, "I feel... POWERFUL!"
"Me too!" Sam yells in a much deeper voice. You turn to Sam, who has grown at least fifteen feet! Sam's biceps are the size of boulders! Amazed, you look down at your body. You're ripped too!
"This must have been a strength potion!" You figure out.
"Yeah! I feel incredible!" Sam screams and punches through the school's concrete walls like it was paper. The two of you sprint down the hall at incredible speed. Using your superhuman hearing, you track down the tour guide and sweep him off his feet!
Literally. You threw a punch into Fred's stomach so hard that his feet remained on the ground while the rest of him soared through the air. You simultaneously set a number of firsts in human history. You're the first person to rupture every vital organ in a living person with a single punch. You're the first person to perform an amputation using only blunt weapons. And you're the first person to send a man into orbit without rocketry. Indoors.
The children around you cheer! They look like ants compared to the titan that you became. You and Sam both pick up bushels of the children and jump away from the school, delivering them to their respective houses like the steroid-abusing offspring of Santa and the stork. When you've placed the last child in the chimney of their home, the two of you jump away, in the silhouette of the full moon.
Just kidding. You and Sam suffer from vivid hallucinations caused by the cauldron. The two of you flail on the ground as your brain is slowly shut down by the poisonous drink.
THE END.
"The past!" You yell and Sam flips a switch! VWORP. VWORP. The TARDIS sounds as you travel through the time vortex.
"We're here!" Sam exclaims. Sam throws open the doors. "Welcome to Medieval En-"
"A WITCH!" Someone screams from the outside! A whistle sounds through the air and a pitchfork impales Sam in the neck! He falls, gripping his throat and quickly dies as you stand there in disbelief while outside, a mob of angry peasants burn people at the stake.
One of them dares to enter the TARDIS and finds you.
"ANOTHER WITCH!" He screams as he picks you up and carries you outside. He ties you to a long stake and another peasant lights the massive bonfire beneath your feet. Your skin sear and fuse with the wood and rope you're tied to as you experience the burning agony of every cell in your body evaporating.
THE END.
You stick around for the entire tour. All seven hours of it. And you never stopped walking during its entirety. Who would've thought that a school could be so big? By the time the tour was over, Sam has become an amputee and the rest of the tourists are either dead from exhaustion or crawling on their knees, begging for a drop of water. The sun is coming up, and before the tour's end, you have resorted to cannibalism in order to sustain yourself.
Fred does a fist pump. "Another successful tour guided by me!" He shouts as your world goes black. Permanently.
THE END.
"It sounds like... a girl squealing?"
"Yeah, it do-wait." Sam pauses. "No it doesn't. It sounds more like a-" You quickly cover Sam's mouth.
"AhahahaI think I know what I heard," you say sheepishly. Sam shrugs.
"Whatever, let's see what it is."
You walk to the source of the noise and find...
"WHAT." Sam screams in disbelief. In the room before you sits a girl. An anime girl. Not a real girl with plastic surgery to look like an anime girl, but a real anime girl. Complete with the freakishly large eyes, the vividly colored irises, the flawless one-color skin tone, and the stereotypical schoolgirl costume. Somehow, you can see her eyebrows through her bangs.
The anime girl notices the two of you and screams.
"メンターは私を殺すために起こっている！〜〜" she shouts. You can't understand her.
"ヘイ！" Sam screams! "あなたが仕事に戻る！"
The anime girl jumps up in surprise and scribbles furiously on a sheet of paper in front of her.
"Woah, how did you do that?" You ask Sam. But as you turn, you notice that Sam has turned into an anime character as well!
"WHAT?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!" You scream, confused. Your head starts to spin. Sam turns to you with an angry look and screams.
"あなたも！あなたは今、仕事に戻るか、私は竹のコートハンガーを取得し、あなたが失敗したすべてのテストのためにあなたを倒すよ！" You suddenly stand up straight, as if by reflex!
"はい、サー！" You say and you suddenly sit down at a desk and start writing Japanese characters. Suddenly, you can read them all, and you can understand everything. You look down at your hand...
You've become an anime character!
"これはできません！" You throw your fists in the air and scream as Sam beats you with a bamboo coat hanger.
THE END.
Lacking creativity, you also draw a sub sandwich. Sam notices your drawing and immediately rushes to you.
"What are you drawing?" Sam asks.
"Sub sandwich."
"Well... want to draw something else?" You put down the chalk.
"But I want a sub sandwich too. I'm hungry."
"Then eat something else!"
"No!"
The commotion attracts the attention of the cats Sam drew. Suddenly, all of the cats are looking at the both of you. They're meowing menacingly.
"Wh...what?" You both wonder what's happening. As the cats approach closer and closer, you look down. And you realize why they're about to maul you to death. With a sigh of forfeit, you prepare yourself.
The cats maul you both to death.
THE END.
"Know what, I think I can figure out how that works!" You say as you push your friend to the side.
"NO, WAIT!" Sam screams, but it's too late. You've already started fiddling with everything with lights and everything that turns on and off and everything that turns.
VWORP. VWORP. The TARDIS screams and sparks shoot out of the console! You're thrown back against the railing from the chaotic force of the TARDIS! Both you and Sam are tossed like ragdolls, literally bouncing around the room until the TARDIS comes to a halt!
Bleeding from the head, Sam opens the door outside before collapsing. You are critically injured. You see a giant metallic bronze R2D2 enter the door and approach you holding a plunger and an egg beater.
ZAP! A blue laser comes out of the egg beater and hits Sam, killing him instantly! You're too weak to move. Too weak to resist. Too weak to do anything but watch and listen helplessly as the R2D2 comes for you. Its blue eyestalk looks you right in the eye as the last words you hear are...
"EXTERMINATE!"
THE END.
"Hey Sam, we should leave the group and look around ourselves."
"Uh... you sure we're allowed to do that?"
"Sure we are!" You wait until the group turns a corner, but you and Sam don't follow them. Instead, you wait behind the corner until they disappear. Party time.
You enter a classroom. Signs of its sudden abandonment are visible. Desks and tables lie carelessly overturned and toppled, some even broken. On the teacher's desk sits a nameplate covered in dust, along with an apple rotted black with bacteria and fungus. Behind that is a chalkboard. Surprisingly, there's still chalk near it.
"Awesome!" Sam cries out. Sam grabs some chalk and starts drawing things. You have the urge to put something on the chalkboard too. Do you...
Draw an awesome fight scene of Godzilla and a Godzilla-sized Powerpuff Girl?
Write your name?
Draw a penis?
You draw a plate of lasagna. Magically, the lasagna turns real and falls gently into your arms! The lasagna steams in your face and the scent of tomatoes and meat sauce send your stomach crazy! You devour the lasagna. Your taste buds can't react fast enough and you end up eating the entire thing before you even taste the delicious pasta.
...And immediately, you spit it out. It tastes like chalk! But the damage has already been done. You've already eaten a brick of chalk. Slowly but surely, you collapse as the indigestible chalk clogs your stomach and intestines. You die slowly, in unbearable agony, and the last thing you see is Sam, about to take a bite out of the world's biggest sub sandwich, surrounded by the thousand meows of cats.
THE END.
"The future!" You exclaim and Sam throws a lever. VWORP. VWORP. The TARDIS travels gently through the time vortex, eventually landing with an audible thud.
"The 40th century! I have no idea what's out there, let's check it out!" Sam says. You follow as Sam throws open the doors.
Immediately, a robotic pitchfork pierces Sam's neck! "A WITCH!" Someone cries out in the background in a robot voice. A massive android picks you up and ties you to a metal pole above a massive, massive bonfire. Another robot starts the blaze and you scream as your skin sears and bonds to the pole.
Sam picked a bad date to land on. It's the Neo-Medieval era. You've been burned alive by Scientologists.
THE END.
You draw a penis. You put a surprising amount of effort into it too. Not just two circles and a pillar. Oh no. You put in veins. And a head. And a dotted line firing out of the tip for style. You also find a way to use the golden rectangle in it.
You and Sam marvel at your feat of immaturity.
Actually... it's only you that's laughing. Sam's gone.
You look around. You closed the door when the two of you came in here and you would have heard it open, so he couldn't have left out of the door. Could he have exited through a window? No, they're all barred shut. You continue searching, then notice a circle drawn on the chalkboard. A perfect circle.
You walk towards it and notice that it has some depth. As if it were an actual hole in the chalkboard. Curious, you reach your hand through the hole...
And you get sucked in! You fall on your face and when you stand back up again, you're in a world made of chalk! In front of you, you see Sam drawing things on the air with chalk. After Sam's drawings are done, they automatically get colored in and become alive! Sam's drawn several cats of varying designs and a handful of cats walk aimlessly in this "Chalk Zone."
Sam starts drawing a massive sub sandwich. Your stomach growls and you suddenly remember how hungry you are. You still have a piece of chalk in your hand, do you...
Draw some lasagna?
Draw a sub sandwich too?
Draw a bathtub full of ice cream?
You decide to stay home, despite having nothing else better to do. Sam continues to throw the ball carelessly in the air, disappointed that you're wasting another day of summer doing absolutely nothing interesting. Sam wonders why you're even Sam's friend since all you do is hold Sam back from the real adventure. On the outside, Sam acts cool and collected, tolerant of you, but inside, Sam's murdering you in all the ways imaginable. And that murderous rage eventually and inevitability manifests itself into depression and shame.
Sam can't believe Sam's mind. Sam's been with you through thick and thin and suddenly, Sam's having homicidal impulses? And all because you didn't want to go to a haunted house? Sam feels dishonored. Sam feels dirty.
Sam throws the ball one more time. But this time, Sam doesn't catch it. Sam throws it with such force that it bounces off the ceiling and comes crashing down on to Sam's head, crushing Sam's skull. Sam committed suicide in hopes to restore family honor.
You don't notice that Sam is dead for another three hours. You're too busy laughing at Internet cats. But they're really funny cats, so you guess its justifiable.
THE END.
Author's Note: OH MY GOD, DO I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR CHOOSE-YOUR-OWN-ADVENTURE AUTHORS NOW. I thought this would be a really easy and fun write, but DEAR GOD, is it hard. Charting all the possible endings, writing the actual thing, THE HTML TAGS. DEAR GOD. Also, keeping Sam gender neutral was pretty difficult too.
But WOW, I had fun with this. See if you can legitimately get to every ending! There's 19 different endings and (potentially) one recursive ending. This is gonna be the last one for an entire month, so tell me what you think!
Also, left quite a few little references here and there. Tell me if you got them!
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