Cowardice

She

Was

Just

So

Unbelievably

Beautiful.

From the second she stepped into my life, she snatched my attention

Like a comic book convention captures fans

And I was her biggest one.

Because at her name's slightest mention

I'd imagine her face in all its perfection

And suddenly, BAM.

An extension in the length of my p-

Pencil lead, you perverts.

As I wrote line after line

About how she shined brighter than any star in the universe,

About how she was so divine that

Aphrodite herself designed every aspect of her.

I was on cloud nine, 

Imagining in my mind the times we would spend together if she were mine.

I dreamt of sunset-kissed beach sands, 

Her head on my shoulder

And with her eyes closed she would ask

"What does the sky look like?"

And I would say

"It looks like a painter's magnum opus,

A masterpiece stunning to the smallest brushstroke"

And she would smile but little did she know

I was describing her.

She was a constellation and

I an astronomer, admiring her from

Hundreds of light-years away

Yet I would never touch her,

Never hug her,

Never hold her

Because I

Could never bring myself to talk to her.

In my thoughts were sonnets and stanzas

But when I approached her, I froze,

Paralyzed in the mouth like a patient 

Fresh out of a molar extraction

And the only sounds that could come out of my lips were

"Uhh...hgh...err...h-hi."

"Um... Hi?"

And I'd turn my back.

I'd ignore her.

I avoided looking at her eyes

When we passed each other on the hallway,

Scared that she would think I was creepy

Even though her eyes deserved admiration.

I refused to talk to her because every word I spoke

Came out a j-j-j-jumbled incomprehensible mess

While her voice was an angelic choir humming in my ear

I pretended she didn't exist.

Even when she was the sole reason that I did.

Seconds turned into hours

And hours turned into towers of unspoken words, 

Repressed emotions, 

And unfulfilled daydreams

And before long...

She was gone.

She was lilac-scented mist that slipped from my grasp

Because I never dared to close my hand

And hold her.

Author's Note: A little spoken word poem I wrote and presented for Creative Writing Club (which you should all join, by the way). Like my last spoken word poem, I'm very proud of this piece too, especially the last few stanzas. Wasn't planning on writing anything before the anniversary story, but I figured since I had to do it for the club, might as well post it here.

Speaking of the anniversary story, I'm planning that pretty thoroughly, down to the point where I'm designing BLUEPRINTS for the building where the majority of the story will take place. Expect to see pictures of that soon. Maybe. If it doesn't end up spoiling anything.