The Medical Compound

I'm sick. Totally and utterly sick. I've been bedridden for twenty days now, and there's no sign of recovery any time soon.

I can tell mom's becoming quite worried. She's taken my temperature every two hours. Every meal I've had for the past few weeks had been chicken noodle soup. Every four hours, she replaces the wet rag on my forehead.

It's been relaxing, to be honest, spending day after day watching TV, or surfing the Internet on my laptop, or reading. It really isn't that bad, even though I'm probably never going to recover. You know why?

Because I'm not sick. I'm just a genius. And starting from today, I'm on permanent vacation.



My mom stuck a thermometer in my mouth. The thermal pad I installed in my tongue worked its magic, heating up to a perfect 110°F without burning my mouth or hurting me in any way. As if she'd done it a million times before, she pulled out the thermometer and I went back to watching TV.

She sighed. "When are you gonna get better? I don't understand what's wrong with you?"

"I dunno," I shrugged, lazily watching Doctor Who.

She pulled out her cell phone from out of her pocket. "I should take you to the hospital, Dr. Sunjay will know what to do with you."

I froze. Oh no. I knew I could fool my medically-inept mother, but Dr. Sunjay? The doctor who spent 20 years in an underground Guatemalan medical school to get the world's first Super Ph.D in everything? The doctor who avoided taking the Hippocratic Oath just so he could use illicit methods to cure people? The doctor who got stabbed in the face during a bar crawl gone wrong and performed a blood transfusion on himself using nothing but a shot glass and a broken cue stick?

"Yes, Dr. Sunjay, yes, it's final," my mom responded as if she read my mind when, in reality, she was just talking with Dr. Sunjay over the phone. She nodded periodically as I flailed my arms in silent protest. Finally, she said thank you, closed her flip phone, and looked down at me thrashing.

"But mom, I'm fine!"

"Oh, no you're not. You have a 110 degree fever, and Howcast.com says that if you have a temperature over 100 degrees, I should call a doctor." Howcast. I swear, I'll find and murder the guy that made that site. My mom's brain is 2% the names of people and 98% Howcast information.

"Ugh... can we just go tomorrow? I'm tired, and it's really late..."

"It's noon."

"Come on..." I hid my head beneath my pillow, letting out a loud groan in protest.

She gave in. "Okay, fine, but first thing tomorrow morning," she finished as she left my room.

Tomorrow morning. That gave me around 19 hours to prepare. 19 hours of non-stop inventing and modifying. 19 hours to fool the greatest, most persistent medical mind in the entire world.

I've chosen a malignant tumor originating from the lungs as the disease to replicate. Symptoms, symptoms, I looked up symptoms. Shortness of breath, chest pains, fever, frequent coughing, aching joints. Simple enough.

I pulled out the fully functional sonic screwdriver, and I got to work.



"Wake up, David!" My mom cried out from the kitchen. I hadn't slept at all. As I heard her footsteps up the stairs, I quickly pocketed the gismos and vials of various liquids I had created last night and dove into bed, throwing the covers over myself just as my mom entered my room.

"Oh, no, you're not, you are not staying in bed all day today. Get up, get up," she started as she tugged on my left leg, "We're visiting Dr. Sunjay."

I slouched out of bed, coughing frequently to plant the seeds in her mind. Sometimes, I coughed loudly, explosively, partly to further sell the fact that I have lung cancer, partly to cover up the whirring of my sonic screwdriver as I made tiny changes to the vial compositions.

Finally, we arrived at Dr. Sunjay's hospital. Actually, it was less of a hospital, more of a gigantic compound. The building was bigger and taller than most international corporations, towering over the tiny houses of Suburbia that surrounded the monolith. I counted around 50 columns and more than 200 rows of one-way mirrors, all of which made the tower shine like a mile high diamond.

This was gonna be fun.



<<PLEASE_STATE_YOUR_NAME_AND_PURPOSE_OF_VISIT>> The robotic receptionist droned as we stepped through the automatic doors of the hospital. Apparently, Dr. Sunjay decided to remove all possibility of human error in his hospital, micromanaging right down to the receptionists.

My mother approached the robot and gave it details as I looked around. The entire place was colored white, as if completely sterile. Well, white with a light blue trim, presumably added not for aesthetic reasons, but so that people could actually tell if they were making any progress through the building. If they weren't there, you'd think you'd be walking in place in a white, white void.

<<IDENTITY_VERIFIED. WELCOME,_MRS._T>> The robot bowed towards my mother, then rigidly turned and beckoned its hand toward the door on its left. My mom bowed and thanked it. I questioned whether I should do the same or not. I decided not to.

We entered the door, which led to a long, white hallway, which, although bright, had no visible light source. I looked down at the ground. White, nonreflective square tiles arranged in orderly rows and columns, with a row of blue tiles for every six tiles that passed. At the very end of the hall stood a single door, by itself. No other doors stood on the walls to my left or right.

With only one direction to go, we went forward, eventually reaching the door. The doorknob was cold to the touch as I opened it.

As the door swung open, I saw Dr. Sunjay's office. It was surprisingly plain. A blue exam table with a gray base, a long white paper towel spread atop the chair. In the corner, a blue table with various cabinets in its base, a sink, and various medical tools on its surface. Dr. Sunjay was nowhere to be found.

That is, until he turned around. And I saw his eyes, dark brown. Nothing else, just dark brown eyes floating in white blankness.

"What the..." My mother said, just as surprised as I was, but I quickly realized what was happening. He wore completely white garments. White scrubs, a white surgical mask, a white medical hood, he was practically invisible in his hospital except for his eyes, dark brown, the only things visible.

He turned back around and disappeared.

"Hello," his deep, low voice said, a ghost in the room, "Take a seat." I sat at the examination table and my mother sat on the blue chair in the opposite corner of the room. To my right, the door closed, presumably by the invisible Dr. Sunjay, but it looked like the wind could've done it.

"What..." he started, letting the first word sink in, "Seems to be the... problem..?"

"Um..." My mother was talking to the sink. "My son, David's had a fever for almost three weeks."

Suddenly, I felt a rod jab into my mouth. At first, I was shocked, but quickly realized that it was only a thermometer. Thankfully, it was only a thermometer and not something much, much less sanitary. It caught me with such surprise that I barely had time to turn on my tongue's thermal pad, but luckily it warmed up in time to be measured.

"Yes..." Dr. Sunjay said, almost as if deriving pleasure from the fact that I have a fever. It was almost creepy. "Your son does have fever... very..." he inhaled deeply, "goooooooooooooooood..." his voice cracked and crumbled near the end of his last word.

Scratch my last statement. He was definitely creepy.

"So... what's wrong with him?"

"Need..." he hissed, like a snake, "More... testing..." I could feel the grin seeping from his surgical mask, though I couldn't see him.

This was going to be much harder than I thought. I'd have to drink each potion discretely in order to avoid suspicion from Dr. Sunjay. I can't take all the potions at once either, else their effects would run out before their respective tests.

"...Flu?" He whispered, thought it might as well have been the wind. A cotton swab stabbed the inside of my cheek and I almost gagged. I heard an electric beep, as if something had been wrong.

"Nope..." he sighed, "No... flu." I felt a push on my back.

"Up," he said, "To... MRI..." MRI. Magnetic Resonance Imaging machine, just as I anticipated. I slipped my hand into my pocket and felt for the shape of the vial that would modify the polarity of certain parts of my stomachs. Then, I coughed explosively and suddenly, throwing my torso forward and simultaneously drinking the vial. I coughed again, then quickly reached into my pocket, swapping out the empty vial for a bright red handkerchief. Misdirection at its finest.

Finally, we arrived in the MRI room. I lay down on the MRI and the machine quickly scanned my body. Within minutes, Dr. Sunjay had received the results.

"It says..." he began as I crawled out of the machine, "Son has... tumor."

"WHAT?!" My mother exploded. I cheered. My plan was working.

"-But..." Dr. Sunjay interrupted, "I think... not."

And my plan fell like a lead balloon.

"One... last..." he paused for what seemed like a minute. I saw his eyes appear in the walls, staring right at me. "Test..."

"Wha-" I coughed, interrupting myself, "What test?" He said nothing for a few minutes and the temperature in the room dropped to near freezing point.

"Sonic... resonance." In my 12 years of being a boy genius, after graduating summa cum laude in the Harvard class of 2012, I had never heard of sonic resonance. But I could make a guess. If it was anything like magnetic resonance, then I could apply the same concepts, but use my sonic screwdriver to modify the perceived reverberation of the machine. Of course, this is based off the assumption that the machine uses sound waves that travel through my body and bounce off various organs to detect anomalies in the human body. If this is wrong, then the entire plan dies.

Sorry. I get science-y sometimes. In short, I had a plan.

An invisible hand started to prod me to the entrance of the SRI room, when suddenly, I hear a metallic clang behind me. I turn around and see my mother, trying to pull her gold necklace off the machine. She looked toward us with a sheepish smile.

"Uhh... you go ahead. I'll be... right behind you." She tried to pull her neck from the machine but the pendant wouldn't budge.

The hand continued to push me toward the SRI room.



Finally, we arrived. I lay down in an elliptical pod, akin to an MRI machine only gray and much roomier. I could fully reach my arm out in front of me and I still wouldn't be able to touch the roof of the machine.

I heard a familiar buzzing noise emanating from a foci in the ellipse. I discretely put my hand in my pocket and tuned my sonic screwdriver to both dampen the sound waves from the focus and to relay fake sound waves to the other foci. I thought my plan was working.

I thought wrong. In the distance, I heard Dr. Sunjay's scream.

"NOT... SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!" he exploded. I could hear his heavy footsteps rocking the hospital. Quickly, I pulled out my sonic screwdriver and rolled out of the SRI, landing feet first on the ground. I saw the door open right as I pointed my screwdriver at the ceiling and turned off the lights.

"MUST. DIAGNOSE. PATIEEEEEEEEEEEEEENT!" Sunjay screamed, sending a shiver down my spine. I slipped through the door and ran into the hallway.

Suddenly, something struck me to the ground with a metallic clang. My forehead throbbed in pain, but I couldn't see what was in my way.

"DIAGNOSE. PATIENT!" Sunjay screamed. His voice sounded like it was directly in front of me. I crawled backwards in a crab walk position and looked in front of me. The row of blue tiles was broken by an outline of two white legs.

"Back off!" I screamed as I stood up and pointed my sonic screwdriver at him.

Another punch, with inhuman force. I flew back and slid on the tiled ground, hitting my back against the door to the SRI room. I heard his heavy stomping as he approached me and right when it sounded like he would crush my legs, I aimed the screwdriver and emitted a frequency to stun him. He roared in pain, a roar that shook the entire hospital. I weaved around him and ran to the end of the hall, eventually reaching the receptionist's room with the exit in sight. The robot turned to me and bowed. I bowed back.

"Oh shoot! Where's mom?!" I remembered, and quickly turned around, running to the MRI room.

And there she was, exactly as I left her, neck stuck in the MRI machine, pathetically flailing to get it off.

"Hold on, mom!" I aimed the sonic at the MRI machine and she wrenched herself from it, recoiling back and stumbling onto the ground. I helped her up an-a punch to my left, which sent my flying into the wall.

"Oh my god!" Mom yelled. The impact with the wall dazed me and for a few moments, I was disoriented, and suddenly, I levitated a few inches in the air, choking.

"What's happening to you?!" Mom panicked. I gagged and wheezed, reaching for the sonic in my pocket. I could barely touch it with the tips of my fingers. Just a little longer, just a little further...

And I got it. I aimed it at the MRI machine and a massive dent spontaneously appeared on the machine accompanied by a deafening metallic thunk. My mother too was launched toward the MRI machine, her necklace once again stuck on the surface of the machine.

I could hear Dr. Sunjay's flailing on the machine. Mom once again tried to pry her necklace from the machine.

"Mom, we've got to go now! Dr. Sunjay is dangerous!"

"But my necklace!"

"Leave it!"

"But you gave it to me!"

"It's a spray painted four dollar necklace that came with a coloring book!"

"WHAT?!" She exploded, seeming more angry at that than the fact that there was a murderous doctor right next to her. "YOU SAID IT WAS REAL GOLD!"

"I lied! It was Mother's Day and I forgot, I had to improvise!" I screamed, aiming the sonic at the chain, breaking it. We ran out of the hospital with Dr. Sunjay's air-filling screams growing fainter and fainter.



"Phew," I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm still confused, what... what exactly happened?"

"Dr. Sunjay was a robot. After he saw the fake, nonsensical readings on the SRI, he couldn't process the information and he glitched out. So, I lured him to the MRI room and turned it on full blast so that he would get stuck on it."

"Oh... okay." My mother couldn't find the words to respond to that. It's a shame Howcast doesn't have a video teaching people how to deal with murderous cyborg doctors.

I sighed. I need a vacation.

And I sneezed.





Author's Note: Oh god, I'm so sorry that I haven't been keeping up with the schedule, Finals week was just absolutely hectic.

But now, it's summer, and I have all the time in the world to write, so expect even better stories in the future!

Loved writing this. If you didn't notice, a lot of Doctor Who influences here. I've been watching a hell of a lot of episodes of Doctor Who recently, so I felt like writing a story based on an adventure that The Doctor would have. 

First story that falls under the "Action" genre too, so this one's pretty special.